Notebook Blurb #4

At our senior class trip to the Bahamas/Atlantis meeting...quote is in regard to the Bahamas...

"It's a country?...I thought it was an island..."

The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow

When I was little...let's just say I wasn't the most well-bahaved child. So in response to my acting up, occassionally mother would threaten that she was going to send me to the orphanage. She'd proceed to pick up the phone and call call the orphanage to pick me up...

Well the other night at dinner I found out that she never really called the orphanage...instead she was calling my friend's mother!***

I also found out that while she was pretending to call the orphanage, I'd run around the house on the verge of tears, yelling "But I don't wanna be Annie! Noooooo!" Apparantly I feared turning into Annie and living the life she lived when she was stuck in the orphanage.

Then the next day, when I safely avoided being taken away to the orphanage (which I thought was magical...turns out it wasn't even a threat)....I'd run around the house singing "The sun will come out tomorrow....bet ya bottom dolla that tomorrow....there'll be sun!"

***Do not judge that it took me over 15 years before learning that I was never on the verge of being sent to the orphanage.

Kristin Dueberjohnson? I hope this is you.

I received this e-mail from a stranger today:

Kristin Dueberjohnson? I hope this is you. Kerrie was reading your e-mail about wanting to see pictures of our new dog, and I said I'd send them to you, but I didn't have your e-mail address. So I glanced and tried to remember your e-mail address. Of course, it never occured to us to simply forward the e-mail from Kerrie's account to yours. Derf. If this isn't you, then to whomever you are, these are pictures of our new dog. Isn't she cute?

Below that was a long list of email addresses and the e-mail they forwarded to "Kristin Dueberjohnson":

This is our new dog, Nelly. She was named in a moment of inspiration when we declared that no dog named "Muffy" or "Gigi" was ever gonna step foot in our house, but "Tupac" , "Snoop Dog", and "Biggie" weren't quite appropriate for a dog that wasn't going to get much bigger than the 5 pounds she is now. "Nelly", we decided, was actually a nice name for a small female dog. Kerrie wanted to name the dog "Cujo", and believe it or not, I was actually the one to say, um, no. Nelly is a 5-month old papillon-pomaranian mix. She has a very nice disposition, rarely barks, and mostly wants to lie down next to you, which is the polar opposite of most dogs her size. She has also been learning that the bed is too high for her to jump on, despite her best efforts at a running leap, and this occassionally results in her bouncing off the side of it like a tennis ball. She is, however, fluent in poop. We're working on that.

1 of 10 photos sent by stranger:

Strangers have a cute puppy. I wonder who my new friends are...

Poop Catcher

I was driving down the road yesterday and saw a lady standing behind her dog catching the dogs poop. Yes, plastic bag to the dogs bum to ensure no poop hit the ground.

Then the dog glimpsed back and "gracefully" (as graceful as one can be, moving while pooping) maneuvered forward....only to be pleasantly graced with the lady shuffling right behind, following the dog...plastic bag still to the dog's bum.

Looked like the below photo...but with a dog, closer to the ground, and in suburbia.

Midnight Snack aka Breakfast

As I was eating an enormous bowl of Rice Krispies last night around midnight....I realized....I eat my breakfast before I go to bed so I can sleep longer in the morning.

The Dusty Files: Wood Angels

Two of my friends and I were recently looking at our to-be apartment on Dustin Road...being shown to us by our real estate agent...also named Dustin.

During the showing, we were trying to figure out if the couch we want to use would fit the measurements of the living room but we had forgotten a tape measure. In an attempt to figure the length of the couch, we started using our heights. Since our 6'1" real estate agent was the tallest...he was the obvious choice for the measurement tool.

We managed to get our real estate agent to lay down where we wanted to put the couch. As he was laying on the hardwood floor, we realized the couch was a bit longer than he was so we had him lift his arms over his head. He continued to lay on the floor with his arms stretched out over his head as he asked us "How awkward is this? Are you all set? Do you want me to do anything else?"

Well, since he offered....next, we had him drag his arms across the floor and bring them down to his side. Only after doing that did he ask why....in response, we congratulated/thanked him for doing a make-shift 'wood angel'...aka a snow angel on the wooden floor.

Then our third roommate, who was on the phone in the hallway, walked in....shocked that we had our real estate agent laying on the ground while we stood on the opposite side of the room debating what else we could make him do....

Stuck in the Middle (of the lake) with You

A kayaker missing, a jet skit unable to tow said kayak, a boat that wouldn't start, a cell phone without service, and a little boat that also wouldn't start....

This past weekend we were at the cottage in Maine. For the first time, my next door neighbor's boyfriend ventured outside of our cove in the kayak. Two hours later, he had still not returned.

My neighbor and I went on a rescue mission on the jet ski. After getting to the middle of the lake, we realized we'd forgotten rope to tow him back but decided we'd find him before figuring out next steps.

After searching a bit over half the lake, we found him in the kayak, soaken wet, shivering, and paddling in the opposite direction of the cottage. Turns out after he circled Treasure Island he lost his sense of direction. The people he asked for help ended up spraying him/capsizing his kayak and all he could remember as points of references were Treasure Island and the public boating entrance....both on the opposite side of the lake from our cottage.

Anyways, we found him! Now to tow him in...without rope. Our genius idea was my neighbor who was on the back of the jet ski and the kayaker would hold onto the paddle while I slowly drove us home.

Idea = failure.

As I started to drive, the kayak went off to the right and to avoid tipping over he had to let go. Instead of towing him home, we pointed to the far end of the lake and said paddle that way, we'll be back.

We sped off back to the cottage to get the boat. My father, my neighbor, and I returned to our lost kayaker to pick him up. We refound the kayaker, we shut the boat off to let him in the boat. When both the kayak and him were safe in the boat and we went to start the boat....nothing. Now the boat wouldn't start.

We successfully managed to save the stranded kayaker but get all four of us, a boat, and a kayak stuck in the middle of the lake.

As father played with the boats engine/battery, I tried my cell phone (good thing about being stuck in the middle of the lake is that it's the only place I get service up there). I managed to call mother and tell her to get the jet ski and come tow us in....but then i lost service. Right as I lost service father yelled that we needed her to get the battery starter and come in the little boat...oops.

I tried my cell again. No service. Tried again, no service. Another cell attempt...score! It worked...thanks to the wind making the boat drift. This time I got through and relayed the message to get the battery and come get us in the little boat.

Meanwhile, father was still playing with the boat engine/battery, the kayaker was regaining feeling in his arms and trying to stop shivering, my neighbor was consoling the kayaker, and I was still planning the bon fire we were to have in a few hours.

Finally, the boat magically started!

We headed back to the cottage, I tried to call mother to update her but after a couple rings I lost service.

As we returned to the cottage, we found mother and my neighbor's dad standing on the little dock with the battery by their feet and their hands up in the air portraying an "Oops! i don't know" expression. They yelled to us "The little boat won't start either!"

In response father yelled "Is the key in the boat?!"

Turns out the first time I called, mother ran outside to find our neighbor's dad to get help with the jet ski since she doesn't know how to drive it. Then while they were both staring at the jet ski, since neither of them really knew how to use it, the phone rang because I was calling again. She ran to the house to answer the phone, then she and my neighbor's dad followed the directions to get the battery and little boat. Then they went to start the little boat and couldn't. As they were attempting to start the boat, the phone rang again so she ran back to the house but when she got to the phone it stopped ringing...quite chinese-fire-drill-combined-with-chicken-with-head-cut-off-esque. She then went back outside and that's when we returned to find her and my neighbor's dad on the dock....hands in the air yelling to us that the little boat won't start either...us questioning if the key was in the little boat....

Turns out they forgot to put the key in the little boat!